5 Cheap Last Minute Halloween Costumes

By Zy Mazza

Halloween is next week, and you don’t have a costume yet because you’re in college and procrastination is your minor. That’s fine. I’ve been in this situation quite a few times, and I have a few tricks that work surprisingly well and require almost no effort.

5) Ghost

I know this is a cheap one, but you can always work the “I’m wearing this costume ironically” vibe and turn it into more of a statement. If you really feel like being interesting, go as Charlie Brown.

Protip: If you’re doing this one, don’t actually cut a bunch of holes in the sheet. Use black tape or something to really hit it home that it’s intentional.

4) Ironic Pimp

You can pull this one off really easily with 20 bucks and a trip to the thrift shop. Just ask Macklemore.

Buy a fur coat, some cowboy boots (or moccasins someone else has been walking in), and borrow your little sister’s sun glasses that are shaped like stars. If you don’t have a little sister, go to the dollar section at target. After that, all you need is a gaudy cowboy hat and cane, and you’ll be the hit of the party (and girls will pose with you for pictures).

3) The Joker/Harley Quinn

This is a great couples costume, especially if both you and your significant other got to the night of Halloween without getting costumes. I’m both impressed and concerned at your combined procrastination abilities.

I know this costume looks like it might not be that easy, but trust me it is (I myself have used this combo). The only really important part of the costume is the makeup, which one of you probably already has (except maybe the white facepaint). For Harley, you can pull off the jester hat look by wearing your hair in pigtails. For the joker, if you look frumpled and paint lipstick streaks on your face, no one will notice that your hair isn’t green. Trust me.

2) American Psycho

This one’s so easy it hurts. Grease back your hair, put on your nicest suit, and pick up a kitchen knife (or a fake knife for about 2 dollars). You are now Patrick Bateman, and everyone loves your costume–bonus points if you hand out business cards.

As an aside, if you haven’t seen American Psycho, please close your browser and rethink your life.

1) Day of the Dead Skeleton

Before anyone says anything, I recognize that Day of the Dead is not Mexican Halloween. It’s its own holiday, completely separate from, and unrelated to Halloween. Now that that’s out of the way, we can talk about important things.

This costume has the joint benefit of being super easy (only facepaint is required) and looking really cool (see the picture above). You can even get away with just using black and white if the colors are too complicated for you, and it’s great for both men and women.

As a disclaimer, my grandma told me that only the dead have fully painted faces on the Day of the dead, and the living should only paint half of their faces otherwise the living would become the dead or someone would get offended or something. But seeing as how Halloween isn’t the Day of the Dead I say go nuts on the facepaint, and if anyone gets offended, tell them some Mexican-American guy wrote an article that said it was okay.

Now you have no excuse to go to a party costumeless. You might not win the best-costume contest, but you’ll definitely be doing better than the guy who shows up saying “I’m a college student haha!” Don’t be that guy. That guy sucks.

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