About Advice

By Lev Novak

In life, you’re going to be told a lot of things. Some of it is sound advice (do not light your hair on fire) and some of it is opinion disguised as fact (the Red Sox are better than everyone, all the time.)

Growing up, it can be hard to tell them apart. I remember, vividly, being a disorganized kid. Classes would have “binder quizzes” where they’d check to make sure your binder was in order, and mine never was. As every teacher tsk-tsked, they’d tell me the same thing.

“You need to be organized” they said. “(The next) grade is going to be tough.”

I’ve heard that about sixth grade, seventh and eighth. You better believe I heard it in high-school, every year, and all throughout college. And, now being in the real world, I hear it even more.

But they’re wrong.

Listen. Being organized is great, if you’re into that sort of thing. But it’s not for me. It never has been. I’ve spent at least a decade surviving as I have, without alarms or assignment notebooks, and that’s okay. Because when people tell you to do things, or to “be realistic” they just mean: do things the way we do.

This isn’t a “be yourself” screed: doing things the way other people do can have some real advantages, and much of the advice I’ve gotten over has been super useful. But remember, if it isn’t, the problem isn’t with you: the problem is that the advice doesn’t fit. And that’s fine.

For example: if you’re being told to be more realistic, and change your major, consider for a second: in a perfect world, you would love and be talented at computer science. But, if you aren’t, which is more “realistic”: that you will find a successful career in what you enjoy and are good at, or, that you’ll be able to fake your way through a difficult field that you hate, all because on paper, it sounds better.

Life isn’t lived on paper: it’s lived in life. So the next time you get advice, even from uCribs, ask yourself two things.

1. Is This Advice For Me?

If I have a great recipe for making hamburgers, it doesn’t do you any good as a vegetarian, right? So you’d excuse yourself from following it. Somehow, though, people assume every other piece of advice- advice to travel, to marry, to get a consulting job- applies equally to them. It doesn’t, so ask yourself with every piece of advice: is this for me?

2. Will This Make Me Better At What I Care About?

Don’t take cooking lessons if you don’t like to cook, amigo. Buying fancy running shoes won’t make you like running better. Be you, first and foremost. Find advice to improve you, because trying to change yourself is a fool’s errand.

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