Don’t Be April Fooled

By Lev Novak

When it comes to apartments, sometimes things can seem better than they really are. You want to believe and they want you to believe, too. This can overlap into shady online postings about perfect apartments that don’t add up. So, let’s explore how to stay vigilant. Don’t be an April Fool in September.

1. Check The Language

Is the apartment described in vague terms? Calling the apartment “Perfect” and “Awesome” is easy because it’s a shortcut to your emotions. You hear it’s perfect, you want it to be perfect, it’s perfect! But why? Listings are less likely to fudge the actual facts since they can be checked, so boring, bland language (square footage, rent, washer/dryer) because if there isn’t a washer/dryer, they’ll be called out. But if they call an apartment “Awesome!!!!” and it’s terrible, as long as they weren’t specific, they can just try to get you to go along with it.

Boring language is your friend. A good apartment doesn’t have to use ALL CAPS or ~F~A~N~C~Y~ G~I~M~M~I~C~K~S~ Because a good apartment has confidence in itself. The blander and more basic the description of the apartment, the more likely it is to be great. The more enthusiastic the description is (while remaining very vague) is a red flag.

2. Make Sure You Check Everything

No, not everything. But check enough things to prevent surprises.

Run the shower and the sink. How’s the water pressure? How long does it take to get warm? If it’s good, nice, one less thing to worry about. If it’s not, hmm.

Check the corners of the cabinets. Any lingering smells or residue, or has this apartment been professionally cleaned?

Check the Yelp! review of the area within walking distance. You may have peeked at the area before, and you may have heard it’s near a grocery store, but Yelp! will tell you if it’s a four minute walk or an eleven minute trek, as well as if they have really good local restaurants or if the only coffee shop is run by a pack of angry retired improv instructors.

Information is out there. Get it.

3. Do Not Take Their Word For It

Go in person. Talk it out. Ask your questions.

You cannot just trust what you see online. That’s not to say it isn’t true: I got a fantastic apartment from online which is actually better than it looked online, but it’s important not to move too fast. The internet can bend the truth on occasion. Don’t let it be this occasion.

Check other apartments. Ask about rent splitting. Ask about deposits, that smell, the neighborhood, and give yourself enough time that you aren’t boxed into anything. It’s probably fine, but think of how much better you’ll feel to actually know that.

4. Don’t Rush

Start early enough that you can walk away from a bad spot. Desperation is a terrible thing. If you have flexibility not to be fooled, you won’t be.

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