Don’t Starve: Apartment 101

By Lev Novak

Eating is awesome. What can be less awesome, though, is figuring out how to eat.

Ordering in is awesome, but it’ll catch up to you. The cost in dollars and calories can deplete a wallet and fatten a waist. Seamless is a “sometimes” treat, but what to do otherwise? Not eat?

I’m not a cook. At all- I can’t even scramble eggs. Straight up. And I’m *exactly* who you want to talk to about this. Because if I do it, it has to be the easiest thing in the world.

Tasty, healthy, cheap, and incredibly easy. Let’s do it.

1. Eat Breakfast

This is the most important meal of the day, and I *know* you skip it. Don’t. Seriously. Do Not Skip Breakfast.

Why? Not for any science reason- it’s because it’s the easiest meal to cook.

Here’s what you do. Get instant oatmeal. Boil some water, or, more realistically, microwave that sucker. Maybe use some milk if you’re fancy, but I don’t. Again, I am crazy lazy.

Then, add a little honey. It’s from a bottle- no problem. Add a few raisins -they don’t expire, which is another reason I like them- and viola! Breakfast.

For extra points you should have it with a yogurt. Greek yogurt is filling, high in protein, and again- super easy. You know what else is easy? Toast. Cereal. Scrambled eggs are too complicated for me, but if you can do them, more power to you. That’s cheap and healthy.

Combine one protein- eggs or yogurt- and a grain, like oatmeal or cereal. Add a fruit if you can and viola! You have a grade-A meal, cheap and easy.

Compare that to what a grade-A dinner would cost, in terms of time and money and effort, and it’s a no-brainer. Have a kingly breakfast- it’ll fill you up, letting the rest of the day go better with more energy.

2. Healthier Snacks

Not healthy snacks, because that ruins everything, but healthier is good. Carrots and hummus. Chips and salsa, instead of guac. Granola bars on the move instead of fast-food. You’ll feel less bloated, and it’s awesome.

3. Small Portions

Do not get the giant bag of chips at the store. Do not get the giant bag of candy. I know that on paper, it looks like a great deal- it’ll last you a month, right? No. It’ll last five days.

Get small portions of the good stuff, even if it’s more expensive. It’ll prevent you from wasting food you don’t want, and it’ll keep you from getting crazy fat.

4. Get Your Staples

Don’t be overwhelmed by your cooking options. Instead, get a few staples you get progressively better at.

For example, I don’t cook, but I make a killer Turkey sandwich. I have the toasting down. I know exactly what type of turkeys go with which cheeses. I can do spicy or savory. Goat cheese or hummus. Onions or I was too lazy to get onions.

A turkey sandwich doesn’t sound like much, but if you have breakfast down- and you should– and you can make a great sandwich- and you should, I have all my breakfasts and half my lunches down, permanently, with basically no work. Also no money- each breakfast is about $2.00, and each lunch (including a cherry tomato side with my sandwich) is about $2.50. It’s also healthy- grains, proteins, vegetables, etc. So do these things and do them well. It isn’t fancy, but it doesn’t have to be.

Next step is to learn how to stir-fry tofu and vegetables for two dinners a week, too. Then, it’s a takeover.

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