Four Ways To A Better Birthday

By Lev Novak

Happy Birthday!

If it’s not your birthday, wait until it is.

A birthday is a special day, marking the inevitable passage of time. It’s a time of reflection, of looking forward, and for comparing who you’ve been with who you want to be.

Just kidding. It’s time to get smashed. It’s time to party. But how?

1. All In Moderation

This is good advice for life, but it’s better advice for a birthday. Especially on a 21st birthday, people are going to try to get you drunk. That’s awesome, but at the same time it isn’t. They aren’t getting you drunk for your sake. They’re getting you drunk for their sake. They’re expecting you to throw up on a girl and get thrown out of a taxi and having some sort of story and a two-day hangover. If that’s what you’re in to, sure. But I’d prefer my stories to be modestly less vomity.

Instead, keep drinking. Keep partying. But take the focus on getting as drunk as possible to doing as much awesome stuff as possible. It’s a small distinction, but it’s an important one. Getting another tequila shot might make your night better. It also might make it worse. But doing other things while drunk; adventuring, getting falafel, etc, are all generally awesome themselves. So don’t get as drunk as possible; have as good a drunk as possible.

2. It Starts At Midnight

That’s the easiest way to tell it.

If you have a birthday party before your birthday, you’re going to have a bad time because, no matter how you slice it, it’s good to get recognition on your actual birthday and people will be already tired from your festivities if they’ve happened already. Better to wait until midnight or later to celebrate.

3. Tradition Matters

Birthdays matter more if you keep them linked together. My friend Pete has a “birthday boy” shirt that he wears every year. It has experienced a lot of wear and tear- we like markers- but that makes it more special. It has the metaphorical residue of years of our birthday absurdities, and it links us to the past and the future.

With another friend, we go to The Cheesecake Factory. This was pretty cool at 17, but on his 21st, we didn’t know what to do. Do we go bar-hopping? The Cheesecake Factory is a terrible place to pregame drinking with, as well- what do we do?

We did what we always did. The Cheesecake Factory, then N64 with drinks in his basement. It was sweet, understated, and a lot of fun.

The next night we did the bars. You can have your (cheese)cake and eat it too, guys.

4. Celebrate The Summer Kids

Give the summer kids a school-year birthday. You can even combine them into one big day, but do it. One, they don’t get a “real” college birthday ever, and that’s sad for them (reppin’ July, I can vouch for that) and second, free birthday party! Celebrating your friends without birthdays one of the better excuses to have for throwing a party; it’s a pretty kind reason to get drunk.

Toast them, and get started. Extra birthdays, even when it’s not a “birthday?” That’s an expert play.

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