Handling Failure

By Lev Novak

Sometimes, you fail.

Be it a test, a rap battle, or a job application, failure is going to find you. Failure isn’t a bad word, or a bad concept. It’s essentially what happens when you work hard. Failure isn’t the opposite of success; it’s its mirror image, if that makes sense. Failure means you exerted effort and you tried. Be proud of your failures.

But that’s not where we are now.

Right now we’re talking about how to cope. So first…

1. Do You

Whatever it is for your coping, go for it. Don’t listen to what your friends say- some of them are going to suggest you party, or talk it out, and while those are great ideas, you need your time to settle with the issue first.

Sit down, think. Get sad, mad, and sad again. Listen to your sad songs, then make a half-hearted effort at your pump-up songs, and then split the difference with some old Kanye West.

Whatever it is, you need to make your peace with it before you…

2. Do Others

Um, let me rephrase that.

It’s important to get out of your own head, simply because feeling bad for yourself is fine in moderation, and inevitable, but you don’t want to get stuck that way.

The best way to put your failures in perspective is to get out of your own head and see your friends or family. They care about you no matter what, and, while you were obsessing about your own stuff, they’ve had their own lives and worries to focus on as well.

Help them, and you’ll be helping yourself. Take a vacation from your obsessions.

3. Make a Plan

After you get your head straight- and that is by far the most important thing- it’s time to get your plan together.

What are you going to do? Can you retake the test? Can you drop the class? Can you explain to her that, sorry, sorry, she was right; your beard is stupid?

Whatever it is, see if you can minimize your losses. Then, work on gains.

What have you learned? Is it that you actually hate German class? That your girlfriend is really picky and blunt about facial hair? That you need three examples to accurately pad out a list of rhetorical questions? Whatever lessons you learn will be instrumental in your plan.

4. Get a Success

Get back in their, cowboy.

Failures are things that happen, not a title or a cloud to tie your worth to. Find new stuff! Submit a poem to a magazine. Rap battle someone else, and this time don’t try to rhyme “Sandwich” with “Bland Fish.”

A new success will put everything back into perspective. Go get it.

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