Have a Decent Valentines Day

By Lev Novak

Look.

Nobody likes Valentines day. We know, we know, we know. There’s no need to link to that Buzzfeed article, to post that Facebook status, or set your “too cool to care” tweets ready to pop. Especially since it’s a Friday- oy– Valentines Day is going to be harder to avoid.

So what are we going to do?

Survive.

Option A: Totally Single

If you’re totally single on this Friday night, your only real option is to play things close.

No matter what you do, remember that you’re going to regret it tomorrow. Texting somebody, not texting somebody, going out with friends, staying in with Netflix…whatever you do, it’s easy to make it sound “sad” in the context of Valentines day. It’s a no-win situation, so the best thing to do is recognize that right up front.

Tonight is going to be a little wack.

Not super wack; not “the worst” or whatever, but if you spend the entire night trying to force the world around you into being perfect, you’re going to be a lot less happy than if you just recognized that things are going to be a little lame.

But if you just accept it, you’ll know peace. If you stay in tonight and watch Netflix and get take-out, you’ll be fulfilling a sad stereotype. If you go out with single friends, it’s the same thing. There’s no escape, and that can be freeing in a way. Just do what you’d like, don’t share it on social media, roll your eyes, and wait till tomorrow.

Option B: Basically Single, But, Um, Yeah.

You’re single, just like above, but life isn’t so clear cut. Maybe you have an ex you still care about who you’re on an amicable break with, or maybe you’ve been on four-and-a-half dates with somebody, or maybe you have a “totally casual” thing that’s somehow been going on for five months now (uh-oh.)

Here’s what you do. Don’t go out. Stay in, have a chill time, and give whatever person isn’t your significant other a nice, sincere, but totally simple and not too intense “happy Valentines day.”

No gifts, no flowers- don’t overdo this- but something simple and direct. Do it as soon as possible to get it out of the way, and to get that other person out of the “oh, um, now what?” scenario. Take the lead on this, and get it done early.

One more note: you only get one “Happy Valentines Day.” Make it count.

Option C: In a Thing

Congratulations! You’re in a thing. You like someone and they like you. I know it might not be a “relationship” or “Facebook official” but now isn’t the time to over-think titles or implications. Seriously. Don’t psyche yourself out. You’ve got this.

Here’s what you do. Go over to their place or have them over. Get Chinese or Thai food; something tasty, but not “date-y.” Then, show off the care package you got; a nice six pack, various snacks, and a DVD of a cool (but not romantic!) movie. Something that’s both good to watch, but not so great you won’t want to hook up during it. “Semi Pro” is a good pick, for example, or “Casino Royale.”

That’s something both of you will share together, and the non-romantic movie/food pair well with the “drinking and dinner” together thing. Valentines day will be a nice night, but not a “whole thing.”

Option D: In a Real Thing

Do whatever you want.

Seriously, you can. Talk to your partner and figure it out. You should do something cool, not because you have to, but because you deserve it. Enjoy! Pick a different day. I have a friend who’s been in a serious, long relationship who celebrates Valentine’s Day on the 15th. “It’s just a lot easier” he says. He hangs with all his single friends on Valentines day and then scoops the dinner reservations and half-price flowers the next day.

If you’re in a real relationship, you can do whatever you want. It’s one of those perks.

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