Home Dynamics: Keeping Sane

By Lev Novak

Part of going home for the holidays, besides all the fun and food, is that you’re going home. And if you haven’t wanted a place of your own before, this holiday will make you want to get one.

Your apartment (ucribs!) is one thing, but your families place is another. So, how do you stay sane? Read on.

1. Accept Your Age

Not your real age, of course, but the age at which your parents are going to act like you are. It’s probably fourteen.

If you’re going to go out driving, they’re going to worry. If you have two and a half drinks, in some families, it’s going to prompt a “serious talk.” If you want to hammer home your independence, it’s going to be a difficult holiday, so make the best of it.

Accept your reversion to younger years and eat lots of food with your family. Don’t try to prove you’re an adult, and don’t insist upon people recognizing it. Just be, because nothing says “I’m not an adult” like literally saying “I’m an adult” over and over to parents who have your cell phone bill on their family plan.

Accept it. Be thankful for your family, and be sly with the drinks.

2. Set An Alarm

You can’t sleep through the whole holiday. If you normally wake up at noon, wake up at eleven. If you normally wake up at eleven, wake up at ten.

Yes, you’ll lose a little sleep, but it’ll be more fun. Plus, you’ll have to answer fewer “do you always sleep this late?” questions from relatives who, back in their day…

3. Be Curt

But not rude about questions you don’t want to answer.

What happened with your ex? “Didn’t work out” you say. End of answer. How’s the job search. “It’s going” you say. That’s it. Don’t give a nosy relative anything to hang their metaphorical hat on, and then quickly transfer the conversation. “But how’s (XYZ)” you ask, and they’ll answer.

Uncle hack! “XYZ” is their favorite sports team.

4. Scavenge

If you’re at your house for thanksgiving, go through your childhood stuff. Things you ignored then might be awesome now.

I, for example, found a retro pink Michael Jordan sweater from the 90’s which I never wore because it was pink. Of course, a retro Michael Jordan sweater- which is warm and soft- is super awesome, regardless of the color, so I picked that up. But I had no idea I had it until I looked through all my old stuff one more time.

Give it a look; you don’t know what you’ll find. Heck, maybe your Magic: The Gathering cards could be worth a few hundred bucks. It could happen to you.

5. Be Thankful

Be Thankful, dingus.

It’s super easy to complain or stress about the holidays at home, and while I get it, that shouldn’t be the main thing to focus on. Turkey! Heat! Family! Health, hopefully! If these things are going well, ignore the presence of your least favorite second-cousin. Because sometimes it’s just worth it to enjoy the bigger things.

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