How To Handle A Different Party

By Lev Novak

Last night I was at a different sort of party. I don’t want to brag, but there were fancy little pizzas, drinks on somebody else’s tab, and a very nice older man debated the merits of flying to New Zealand specifically for hamburgers.

Believe it or not, I am not a fancy guy. I do not own a suit, and knowing almost nobody, I was out of place.

This will happen to you. You’ll tag along with a friend to a party, only to quickly find yourself out of your element. Maybe it’s the wrong frat, or it’s actually a Star Trek party, not a Star Wars party, but you’ll know you’re somewhere new.

So, what do you do?

1. Leapfrog

In a situation where you only know one person at a house-party, you stick with that person for the start of the night, but know this: it won’t last. They’ll ditch you, or you’ll look stupid, anytime after the twenty-minute mark.

This is inevitable. So, swing from vine to vine.

When your connection knows somebody, sweep through; say hi, introduce yourself. Are they vibing? If not, keep going. Don’t force anything; it’s a party. If so, you just made a friend and now your party-connections have doubled.

Keep that process up until you have a corner of people in the party where you feel comfortable.

2. Ask Questions

If you’re out of place, ask questions.

This is for two reasons: one, you might get answers to questions you didn’t know you had (oh, you’re really amped about a soccer game, okay) and two, it lets you talk to strangers in a less creepy way.

3. Look For Things

If you’re feeling awkward in a party, treat it like a scavenger hunt. Find a drink! Find someone you know! Find a guy wearing a neon-green Bulls hat!

Looking for things gives you a sense of purpose and physical action, so you won’t have to worry about standing alone checking your phone. Even if you have no reason to be walking quickly, people aren’t going to question you. They’re going to think you’re a cool, fast-walking guy.

4. Do Not Drink In Excess

Technically, you never should, but some people adjust to feeling out of place by doubling down on drinks.

Don’t.

If you drink in excess, you will gain confidence but lose discretion. You are just as likely to make a friend as you are to rap-battle a guy because he “jacked your swagger sauce,” whatever that means.

5. Leave Midway

If you leave early, you’ve given up on the night. We’re not about that. But if you linger, you lose too. So what do you do? Leave midway.

Find the moment before the moment where people start to leave, and go. You’ll be the first one out and people will notice. You don’t have to make a big deal of it; you have other, cooler parties- but be sure to leave friendly. It’s a way to stake a claim to a different type of party without making a whole thing of it.

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