How to Have Neighbors

By Lev Novak

Wherever you live, you’re likely to have neighbors. Scratch that- you’re definitely having neighbors. And while these guys could be anyone from Mr.Rodgers to Mr.T, they’re going to be a distant, orbiting part of your life. They’ll be the room-mates you don’t actual room (or mate) with.

So, how do you deal with them? Let’s find out.

1. Be Friendly

Say hi.

Neighbors are strangers in geographical proximity, and that means it’s tempting to treat them just like strangers- but the problem is that they aren’t quite strangers. Simply by living nearby, or by living in your building, you’re going to see them. A few times a month really adds up, even in forty-second bursts, so unless you both want to stare ahead on the elevator, it behooves you to be, well, friendly.

This is important also for a few strategic reasons. Being friendly with a neighbor could lead to cool things- if they know the area well, perhaps they can recommend a sketchy looking burger place that’s secretly great, or mention a secret happy-hour the bar has.

Maybe they won’t, but being friendly sets the stage well. Especially if you need a favor later on- like having them hold a spare key- it can come in handy.

2. Invite Them To Parties You Throw

This is a next level move, but I highly recommend it.

If you’re throwing a party, don’t just give your neighbors a heads-up about it- although giving a heads up is already a good move- but invite them to the party, too.

Chances are, they won’t come- it’d be super bold of them to come. But by inviting them, suddenly you look like a cool friendly guy and you gave them a heads up about the party. Now you’re almost friends, and, if anything, they owe you a favor.

Next level stuff, my man.

3. Be Specific

Do not bother your neighbors for tangential stuff.

Some noise is going to happen- if their dogs bark sometime, well, that happens. Get a white noise machine if it’s late at night. Fall back asleep if it’s in the morning. Some things are simply “the cost of living” and asking your neighbor to solve them is unreasonable. They can’t just get rid of their dog, right?

Instead, if there is an issue, be specific, and show how you handle it on your end.

“Hi, Greg” you say- since you’ve already met them, friendly, it’s much more pleasant- “I just have to say- sometimes your dogs bark a lot at night. I’ve tried a noise machine but that doesn’t really work. Any suggestions?”

Here, you’ve given them something specific, and given them a chance to respond. Maybe they’ve been barking at night since he comes back and he wakes the dogs- maybe not. Whatever it is, by giving a specific problem rather than a general one, you give him the opportunity to help. Also, by showing that you’ve tried to handle it on your own, you show responsibility too.

4. Don’t Go Trick Or Treating In A Spooky Mask on Halloween

That’s weird, dude. Don’t.

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