How to Make Friends with Your College Professors (And Why You Want To)

By Zy Mazza

Modern ideals of friendship mean being featured in a #squadgoals post or tagging each other in dankest memes that only he/she will get. Do not–I repeat, do not–strive for this level with your professor.

However, there are myriad benefits you gain from striking up a friendship with the man or woman doling out the lectures. Future letters of rec, job resume references, or a useful networking connection, to name a few. There’s nothing nefarious or unsavory about becoming pals with your prof, and it can help you in school and after. 

Here’s a how-to. 

1. Be engaged in the classroom

The first step to grabbing their attention during class is pretending that your Starbucks actually kicked in, and that you came through those doors wide eyed and bushy tailed. No need to shoot up your hand to every question. But avoid burying your head in your notebook, or surreptitiously texting on the sly. (They know, guys. No one looks down at their crotch and smiles for no reason.)

Keep a healthy amount of eye contact towards the front of the room. Too often I see teachers who will ask the class general questions, such as “Are we all good on that? Everybody understands?” only to be greeted with a symphony of cricket chirps. Be the one who at least nods, or offers a cursory “yup.” Doing readings/homework is part and parcel to being engaged, and contrary to what you may think, that is not self-evident. In the case of readings, staying on top of them and being among the first to raise your hand and discuss what you read is a good way to start showing your professor that you aren’t just there for attendance points.

2. Chat after class

Once you’ve established yourself as conscientious and engaged student–or, even before, if you’re so inclined–join the line of students who want to get a word in after class.

Sometimes there are hefty lines to talk to the professor, sometimes the class is so eager to bolt that they morph into the stampede that killed Mufasa. Either way, make yourself the last in line to talk to the professor, this way there is no rush from a person waiting behind you. Ask a question about that day’s content, or simply something you wanted to share with them that was too lengthy to be a class comment. Maybe say you found something from that day particularly interesting, or ask for clarification on a topic. For example, I’m Iranian and the moment I heard my professor’s accent I could tell she was Iranian as well, so after the first class I B-lined for her desk and told her about our cultural connection.

3. Attend office hours

Office hours are so woefully underutilized.

Your professors are required to set aside X amount of hours per week to field student questions/concerns, and often they complain that these hours are relegated to staring at their office walls and making rubber band balls. Don’t let them go to waste.

Regardless of the amount of students trying to muscle their way in (or not), make at least 3 or 4 office hour appointments per semester (some permit walk-ins). Bring in an issue you want clarified, at least as a jumping off point to start a conversation. Maintain professional boundaries and don’t get into any dicey territory, keep questions about their personal life, if any, very topical. It’s these one-on-one conversations during office hours that are truly the cornerstone of any professor-student relationship.

4. Correspond after the semester ends

The best way to cement a friendship with a professor long after grades have been posted is to keep some casual contact. This doesn’t have to be arranging lunch dates unless you genuinely feel the desire to. I had a history teacher who once a year or so would send me an article via snail mail of something Iran-related, because he knew I would find it interesting. I would mail him a letter or thank you note with some updates of where I was in my academic career. You can remain in touch via email, snail mail, or perhaps stop by one of their classes in a following semester to say hello.

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