MREs: College Edition

By Lev Novak

MREs, or “Meals Ready To Eat” is an army term for gross stuff you can, in a pinch, eat for survival. They last long, don’t require cooking, and will let you live to fight another day.

Well, college isn’t the army, but we need food too. And cooking isn’t for everyone.

1. Scavenged Goods

Do you have a meal plan? Okay, no worries. Do your friends have a meal-plan? Do they have tupperware? Do you?

Ultimately, the best food is food you didn’t pay for. Scavenged food from the dining hall, or, in an emergency, from your actual roomies can be pieced together for a meal.

A rookie mistake is an attempt to put together a full meal of scavenged goods. That’s not going to work. If you’re taking some food back from the dining hall, think space. Bringing back a sandwich is good, but bringing back a bunch of cold-cuts is more space efficient. Do you already have bread and mustard at home? Ta dah! You’ve done it.

Similarly, if you need to “borrow” some food from a roomie, don’t just take an entire meal. That’s impolite. instead, combine it with your food for the meal you need. Then, who really borrowed some cold-cuts, and who just created a sandwich through the power of teamwork? You did. And you’re a hero.

2. Creative Pairings

Yogurt is not a meal.

It’s a snack, at best, and while awesome, you’re going to have to think deeper.

Remember those “part of a complete breakfast” ads you’d see on TV? Put together a “complete” meal with parts. Yogurt might be a part of a breakfast, but how do you get away without cooking. If even scrambled eggs are too difficult, how about toast? You put bread in the toaster. If that’s too hard, add granola. Shopping for produce is over-rated, but how about a glass of orange juice? Orange juice is pricy, but so’s getting scurvy. Or, if you’re really an expert, add an apple.

Ta da! You made a meal, all without cooking. Protein, grain, fiber, vitamins, whatever. You made a real adult meal! And it’s ready when you are.

3. Fridge, Not Freezer

When it comes to meals ready to eat, focus on ones that come out of the fridge.

This is my personal bias, but think about it. Anything that comes in and out of the fridge generally has some sort of freshness, and, again, doesn’t need radiation to work. Also, eating cold food- leftovers, or yogurt or cold-cuts, or hummus, or whatever fridge-meal you can put together- can be a lot less depressing than, say, an entire package of hot-pockets.

It’s ironic, since the freezer is where MREs were supposed to come from, but the sad fact is the microwave is not your friend. Except for making oatmeal. Boiling water is for suckers.

4. Leftovers

In an emergency- when you actual cook, or, more likely, order food- focus on food that tastes good the next day, and tastes good cold.

If you like cold pizza, you have a whole new excuse to get some; you’re planning ahead, after all. Making noodles? That holds up well in the fridge. Same with chili.

If you do have to cook or order food, minimize how often you have to do it. Make a ton, save it, and eat it straight from the fridge. Meals ready to eat; you’ve earned them.

Share this article: