Room-Mate Rules

By Lev Novak

Living with somebody else can be a challenge. There’s a whole world of potential differences between you and your room-mate, and, even worse, tons of potential similarities. Either way, there’s a lot of overlap for problems.

So what do we do? We make rules.

There are tons of unwritten rules in the room-mate life, but let’s figure out a better union here and now.

1. Prioritize

Ultimately, there’s only so much interest you can take in your room-mate and his apartment living. Sure, it might be better if your house was cleaner, or he didn’t play his music so loud, or he didn’t host his friend Tripp at your house for long, five-day stretches.

Still, he’s going to live his life and you’re going to live yours. So pick what matters, and let the rest slide.

Personally, I’m a messy guy, and I don’t mind a messy house. I draw the line at gross food mess, and that’s what I choose to bother my room-mate with. In exchange, I’m the guy who buys the toilet paper, and I don’t complain when he eats my snacks.

Is that fair? Yes. Because when you live with someone else, you often forget…

2. They Put Up With You, Too

Which means that you’re always going to think you’re the “good” room-mate, because anything that annoys your room-mate doesn’t bother you.

For example, I don’t mind a mess, but that means that I also make a mess. Even if I don’t mind, I have to find a room-mate who doesn’t mind either.

A room-mate who doesn’t bother you is nice, but a room-mate who isn’t bothered by you is an equally large part of the situation. Give them some chances to correct your behavior, and if they’re the shy type, ask them about stuff rather than just assume it’s okay. Maybe they don’t want you playing your music without headphones at night, and changing that is a lot better than putting up with weird vibes for the next four months.

3. Emphasize Agreements

If you don’t see eye to eye on messes, for example, or how long you can host your friends, or who’s supposed to buy what, your house might get a little tense.

So, make it better. Focus on what you agree on.

If you like playing video games together, do that. Make that the center of your relationship; not the video-games, per se, but the friendly hanging out. If you let that take precedence, even if other problems don’t get solved, they’ll seem smaller. Irritations and arguments are always more significant when they take center stage. But, if this is your Super Smash Brothers: Melee pal, then you’re more likely to forgive each other’s faults.

4. Chill

At the end of the day, understand: this person pays rent.

They pay rent, right?

Okay, good. You’re getting paid money to occasionally hang out with a nice enough guy who sometimes eats your chips and shares his beer. It’s a good deal.

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