Roommate Conflicts: Four Tips to Help you Survive

By Sammy K

Despite how perfect the compatibility between your roommate(s) and yourself is, the fact is you’re still living in a small space and the little things you may not have noticed before can end up driving you crazy. Before shouting matches ensue and the remainder of your lease is contentious and tense, try to rationally approach the issues you’re having and partake in some conflict resolution exercises. The best thing is to keep a level head and an open mind during this process or else it won’t have the desired effect. Follow some of these strategies for a more peaceful living arrangement.

1. Compromise – Don’t just give up and be passive, but be prepared to negotiate with your roommate. Both of you should be able to express your wants and expectations to each other. Find some common ground, make a list of household rules (such as quiet hours, boyfriend/girlfriend visits, etc.) and tweak them so that everyone is happy. You both have the right to be happy and comfortable in your own home.
2. Choose your battles wisely – Before stomping around the house for a meaningless thing, think about whether or not it’s actually worth being angry about or bringing up. It’s impossible to live with someone and never find anything annoying about them, really. Everyone has their own quirks but try to approach it with the understanding that this isn’t really a big deal. What’s more annoying, a roommate that listens to the tv a little too loudly, or one that pays rent late? Some issues are worse than others, so don’t take these little things too seriously.
3. Stay calm -When having discussions about any issues you’re having in the home, don’t get upset or angry. It’s easier said than done, but talking when everyone is level headed is a lot more productive and apt to get results than shouting matches. If you need time to cool off, let them know. There’s nothing wrong with walking away to calm down for a while before returning to the subject.
4. Don’t be accusatory -The blame game is the worst way to overcome your problem. Nitpicking or pointing out everything your roommate does that bothers you is insulting and aggressive. Your roommate will feel attacked and not respond well, and this will only further tension and probably elongate it. If you’re so open about all of their problem behaviors, not only are they going to start calling you out on meaningless things, but they aren’t going to be comfortable in their shared space that they pay rent for. Don’t make your roommate feel hated or uncomfortable. Like I said before, some issues just aren’t worth bringing up.

These are just a few steps to help approach problems between yourself and roommates. Try your best to remain calm and deal with the situation appropriately. Sometimes, despite our hardest efforts, things just really don’t work out. The best you can do is try and give it your best and most sincere effort. Need further help? Follow me on Google+ or Twitter!

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