Roommates: How to Prevent Conflicts

By Miranda Darling

Every college student has heard stories of struggles dealing with new roommates. Most students assume it probably won’t be a big issue. Inevitably, you will have differences of opinion with your roommate(s) about living preferences just like people have different opinions about politics and sports.

Issues with your roommates can easily affect your performance in class. However, preventing these differences of opinion from escalating into conflicts is very possible by taking steps to ease the transition, as well as entering the situation with the appropriate mindset.

Step 1: Choosing the Right Roommate

When beginning the search for a roommate, definitely make the effort to find someone you have already have experience with. The value of choosing someone you already know is immense. The reason being, if it’s easier to communicate with your roommate, you are much less likely to have conflicts. Having already done even the smallest introduction will make communicating that much easier. You could find someone you’ve gone to high school with, someone you met at orientation, or someone you’ve had a class with. Even if you’ve only had one passing conversation, they are better than a complete stranger.

If you are an international or transfer student, finding someone you already know might not be an option. When deciding on a roommate who you have no connection with, ask to view their social profiles like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. You should be able to get a pretty good idea of their personality to decide if you think there will be a fit.

Step 2: Communication

The more communication between you and your roommate(s), the better! Before moving in, reach out and talk about who plans on bringing what to the living space, and what still needs to be bought. Whether through social media, e-mail, texting (group chats recommended), also ask your roommates about themselves, and sort of do introductions so that when you actually meet, you already know a little bit about their personality. Some things you can ask:

1. What is your schedule like?
2. What activities are you interested in?
3. What do you do on weekends?
4. When do you go to bed?
5. Do you like to cook?
6. What are you looking for in a roommate?
7. What are your pet peeves?
8. How would you resolve a conflict should it arise?

Step 3: Prevention

Once you’ve already moved in, have a meeting and talk about everything that could cause conflict. Some topics to talk about:

1. Bathroom/Showering schedules.
2. Chores: How often and who does them? Who takes out the trash and vacuums the common area? Who cleans the bathroom if it is shared? Who buys toilet paper? Who will do the dishes? How often?
3. How to divvy up fridge/pantry space. Will cookware be shared?
4. Having company over and playing music. How late is too late?
5. Do you have a significant other who will be over often?
6. Room temperature preferences.
7. When will we hold our weekly roommate meeting?

Talk about it! Passive aggressive actions like changing the thermostat every time you walk in to the room or not refilling the toilet paper roll when you finish it will result in a conflict! The conversation doesn’t have to be an interrogation, just make sure to talk to your roommate(s) as much as possible!

After this conversation, it is a good idea to place a bulletin board in a central area to post chore schedules. It is also prudent to have a weekly roommate meeting to discuss chores, finances, and any issues that arise.

Remembering and implementing these steps can prevent roommate conflicts and help you make the best of your college experience. You can also apply these principles to other conflicts you may have in the future. Good luck!

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