The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread: 3 Tips for Sandwich Tech

By Lev Novak

Wherever you live, however you live, you need to master the art of the sandwich.

I, myself, am no master: I’m merely a disciple in the bread-and-stuff game. But I can tell you right now that whatever level of sandwich skill you have, you can kick it up in a variety of ways. Because meals need to be cheap, quick, easy, and transportable, the sandwich is the go-to lunch (and often dinner) of our generation. So how do you do it right? How do you keep the spark in your sandwich-relationship? Well I’m glad you asked.

1. Spice it Up

No, not whips and chains- at least not yet. Good old fashioned spice is what makes a sandwich intriguing and difficult. A turkey sandwich is simple, healthy enough and easy. It is also, unfortunately, somewhat bland. That’s where spice comes in. Hot peppers are always a good call in a sandwich like that, but they can be pricey and difficult to find- at the very least, they require a decently stocked grocery store, and they expire in a few weeks as a general rule.

That’s where spreads come in. Crazy cheap, long lasting, and hyper efficient, these puppies turn any sandwich into a twist. You know mayonnaise or Miracle Whip, but what about horseradish sauce? Spicy ketchup? Even good old fashioned hot-sauce provides your sandwiches with a kick that’ll perk up even the blandest of sandwiches.

2. Crunch

An often overlooked aspect of the sandwich is the crunch aspect. Deli meats, especially on a roll or bread, just sort of…slops together. It’s cold, when packed it can turn soggy, and overall it can turn an otherwise fine meal into a mildly depressing metaphor of your faded cooking dreams.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

I am a shameless promoter of onion and lettuce in a sandwich. They add a layer of flavor in addition to a crunch, plus they provide a visual aid; color is always nice for a sandwich. You can even pretend that you’re eating healthy- a slice of onion, some lettuce, and then a handful of lettuce is basically like eating a salad, right? Flavor, health, and texture: it’s a good combo, and a cheap, easy one at that.

The less healthy but better tasting alternative is barbecue potato chips. 14 year old you was right: they perk up any meal.

3. Heat

We already dealt with the spice of the sandwich above, and, while an important tactic, it isn’t as good as this one.

Heating your actual sandwich.

See, a “warm meal” is a classic, and, when you have to make it yourself? It’s less appealing. All that cooking- it’s hard, confusing, and annoying to deal with yourself. You have to clean up, too. So what’s a person to do, then, when they want a real meal without any work?

Simple: toast your sandwich.

Make it a little special: get a pesto spread, or some bacon jam, or that fancy peanut butter that costs seven dollars a jar. Splurge a tiny bit on one of those because in the long run, it’s a lot cheaper than a meal out, and cook your sandwich. Make a grilled cheese with apple slices and hot pepper flakes in it. Toast up a gooey peanut-butter and Nuttella sandwich for desert. Warm your turkey sandwich with bacon, goat cheese and pesto- you’re practically a restaurant!

I’m proud of you, reader. Go forth and sandwich.

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