So, You Got No Sleep

By Lev Novak

I got no sleep last night.

I tend to go to bed late anyway, but last night, I saw the sun rise. Not in a cool “stay up playing guitar way” but in a “I hate everything what’s going on” way.

I’m writing this article and getting my day along on about two hours of sleep, which isn’t too bad. It also isn’t too good, either, but life happens. So, while on basically no sleep, I’m going to tell you what you have to do.

1. Pick Your Battles

You can’t have an I.V. drip of coffee, and the more you drink the less powerful it will be. So; pick your battles. What’s more important; being alert in this class or that class? Are people going to notice if you’re half-napping at your internship, or is that a spot where you can relax?

Pick your battles and pick them well, because you’re not living a full day here; you’re just doing what you can.

2. Cut Corners

Corners are the worst. Just get your job done as mediocrely as possible. That’s bad life advice, but good emergency advice. Ultimately, doing a mediocre job on a paper is a ton better than not doing it at all, so if you truly can’t do a good job on it- you’d fall asleep doing the bibliography, for example- skip it.

Do what you have to. And corners don’t count.

3. Don’t Complain

Nothing is less interesting than how little sleep somebody got. All it means is that you’re cranky and think that no one else has ever had to wake up before they wanted to.

You are not uniquely sleep deprived. You are a member of tired warriors, a band of brothers and sisters you co-exist with every day. Be quiet, and feel their presence.

4. Avoid Driving

Driving when very tired has been scientifically proven to be similar to driving drunk. Google it yourselves, but it’s true. I’d link it but I’m effing *exhausted* and as I said, cutting corners is acceptable when you’re exhausted. Better to do a job than not to do it, after all.

5. Naps: The Most Dangerous Game

Be wary of taking a nap. Is it a good idea, or are you just thinking it is because you want one so badly, oh come on, just let me sleeeeeeeeeep.

Because guess what? Waking up from that nap is going to be awful.

6. Loud Music

Think DJ Khaled yelling at Meek Mill music. You need to be amped up as much as possible. Lorde’s soothing voice is an invitation to rest and reflection. Meek Mill, meanwhile, is an alarm-clock of a rapper.

7. Treat Yo Self

Might as well, right?

Have a donut or a hamburger. Because when you’re that exhausted, you’re an army of one doing what you have to in order to survive. With a description like that, don’t you deserve the donut you just had?

You do. You’re a sleepless hero.

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