So, You Want a Pet

By Lev Novak

1. Can You Do It?

Yes, animals are cozy and cute, but sometimes cute isn’t enough. You have to know if you can do it.

I don’t know how to take care of an animal; I can barely feed myself, and adding another creature to my hamburger intensive diet might not be the wisest or kindest decision.

Similarly, experience is a pro. If you’ve had a family pet, then you have practice, even passively, of what to expect in the realm of noises, smells, and behaviors. But if you’re an absolute rookie, you might want to think about what having a pet might entail (ha, tail.) Or, at the very least, know you’re room-mate is responsible and on-board. Raising a pet three ways is a lot more manageable than going solo.

2. Do You Have Room In Your Life?

Another living being is going to be posted up in your apartment. It’s going to sleep, hang out, eat and (possibly) poop there. Do you have the floor space? Do you have the schedule time to walk a dog or to deal with whatever it is that keeps cats alive, other than evil?

Pets need things from you, and that includes time, money, and living space. If you have enough of all of those, then and only then should you consider it.

3. Is Everyone Down With This?

Is your room-mate allergic to cats? Don’t get a cat. Does your landlord policy not allow pets? Sorry bub.

Even if you really want a pet, human concerns come first. And the concerns of other humans mean that your pet picks will have to be flexible with real constraints and concerns of other people. You don’t want to make problems with poor communication and come home with seven ferrets, talking about how they just “resonate with your chi.” You’ll have to resonate yourself a new apartment, too.

4. Are You In This To Win This?

Getting a pet is a long term commitment, and for a generation of people who “don’t believe in titles” having a dog for multiple years might seem like an insurmountable distance. You’re going to have to really commit to this pet if you get it; even Goldfish can last a few weeks.

Are you ready to plan around your pet? Knowing that you can’t stay the night with attractive strangers because Charles Barksley needs to be walked is a trade-off you’ll have to be ready for, and while that’s not the worst thing (have a roomie do it for you) it’s still a thing to be aware of. A pet is there even when it’s inconvenient. A dog needs to be walked even when you’re hungover.

5. Are You Still Ready?

If you aren’t, there’s no shame. If you can’t be swayed, though, good. There are many, many amazing parts of having a pet, and if you’re prepared for all the lame ones, it’ll be that much better.

Tomorrow we’ll go to part two, but today, just settle in and know that it might be tough, tricky, and long-term, but if it’s what you want, it’s what you want. Tomorrow we’ll figure out the best ways to do it.

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