The Room-Mate Shuffle: Five Tips For Replacements

By Lev Novak

The room-mate shuffle isn’t the most fun thing to deal with, but it happens. Friends get jobs in new cities out of the blue, or are given an option too good to pass up, living your apartment-search one man down. So how to handle the sudden change? Read on, my friends. Read on.

1. Three People, Minimum

If you had four people in a group, and one bailed, you can look for a three person spot, even though four is ideal. If your third person bailed, replace them. A two person apartment is expensive, and, equally important, socially difficult. Living with one person sounds easier, but it isn’t. In a four-person house, if someone lives a mess, it’s just there: a mess, and you live with it. In a two person house, everything bad you do is traced directly to you, and your roomie will silently resent you for it. After all: they know exactly who had three spoon-fulls of their Ben and Jerry’

2.Good Enough is Good Enough

When it comes to finding in a fill-in, it’s a shot-gun marriage of sorts, and you can’t afford to be tricky. Instead of having a check-list of desired traits, consider if there are any red flags. Are there no red flags? Then he’s good enough. If there are any perks you can think of in his favor, over-state them to yourself dramatically. He said he’ll bring his Xbox! He’s chill! He’s cool! Free Xbox! It’s all good now, because the most important positive trait is there: he’s paying your rent.

3. Friends of Friends Are Worth It

I know- a friend of a friend, or even a friend’s acquaintance isn’t what you had in mind. You were going to be rockin’ it with your best friends! You were going to be wearing matching pajamas! And this guy is just a rando!

Wrong: a rando is a rando. An acquaintance, even a distant one, is much much better. Why? Because even with a vague recommendation, you rule out crazy. With an acquaintance, even if it’s someone a friend of yours met twice, you don’t really know them: you don’t know their sleep schedule, or their likes, dislikes, party schedule, or if they have a girlfriend- basically nothing. But! You know one crucial thing: they aren’t terrible.

Having a protection-from-terrible is no small matter. If you have any sort of recommendation, that means this person was mildly vetted out. They don’t smell weird, or hate fun, or talk to a dog named Rufus. At worse, an acquaintance might be lame, or passive-aggressive, or not share/ help themselves to your food. That wouldn’t be great, sure, but that’s the worst case. Worst case with a rando? Think about it. You’ll come up with something.

4. Every Crisis is an Opportunity

If one of your friends bailed, take it as an opportunity to re-think everything. Maybe instead of one replacement you could find two replacements and get a bigger place. If your third left, maybe you and your other friend could find a place to move into together instead of finding a rando to live with. A roomie shuffle isn’t fun, but take the chance to examine your cards.

5. Guilt Your Bailing Friend Into Doing Some of The Work

You need a replacement roomie? Common courtesy says the departing pal is responsible. Just look him in the eyes and say “Come on, Dale.” Sigh. Be disappointed. Chances are he’ll hustle hard for you, and be so ashamed you called him “Dale” that he’ll find, at least, a friend of a friend, and as explained above, that’s better than nothing.

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