We Love Eggs

By Lev Novak

If you’re a a long-time uCribs reader, (called “Cribbies” for short) you know that we love eggs. We have egg-shaped tattoos, host egg-themed parties, and refer to the Sonic the Hedgehog villain as “the Eggman” when he CLEARLY is “Dr.Robotnik” in the canon.

So why do we love eggs in a way that stretches the typical bounds of platonic affection?

1. They Are Cheap

When it comes to eating, college students have learned to forage. Dining hall extras are eaten and saved, ramen is rationed, and we subside as best we can on starches and salts.

Enter the egg.

You can have scrambled eggs, fried eggs, or hatched eggs (aka chickens) and they will all come cheap. For the price of ramen and a gatorade, you can make scrambled eggs and toast.

2. They Are Healthy(ish)

As far as cheapness goes, a lot of foods are cheap. Snickers are cheap. Ramen is cheap. But eggs are cheap, and won’t make you miserable the next morning.

3. Flexibility

Are eggs me at the gym when your significant other is nearby? Because, as a food item, they’re flexin’.

Eggs are a famously proper breakfast food. You know “part of this complete breakfast?” if you add anything to eggs, it’s a complete breakfast? Whole wheat toast? An apple? Cereal or oatmeal? Bacon?

Whatever it is, if it circles bacon it’s part of a real-life meal, cheap and healthy.

Not to mention you can make it into savory dishes, or fry an egg as a topping for anything from hamburgers to veggie burgers. Hard boiled eggs with carrots can be a healthy, sad, sad lunch or a healthy, less sad snack.

4. They Are Round

Throw them at your foes!

5. They Are Easy

Cooking can be a cruel, difficult mistress. On the one hand, you want to eat food. On the other hand, you have to work for it.

If you are lazy or untalented as a cook (and I’m both), this can make cooking a disaster.

Enter eggs! They’re hard to get wrong, because you can salvage any burnt egg with ketchup or salt. They take minutes, only need a pan, and don’t need any fancy pairings.

6. Flexibility (Part 2: Revenge of the Flex)

On top of that, they can be expanded up. You can’t wear your sweatpants as part of your suit, but eggs can get as fancy as you need. Make a quiche. Devil your eggs up real nice with a variety of spices, especially saffron. Loudly mention you used saffron on your eggs.

Fry them up with tomatoes, something I’ve heard is a Chinese delicacy for children, but to be fair, I may have heard that wrong.

Eggs are canvas, an adventure, and are cheap, healthy, and tasty. They can be cooked in different ways, for different meals, from casual to fancy, and they are always going to be delicious, cheap, accessible, and not the worst for you.

What are you waiting for, Cribbies? Have some eggs today!

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