What To Buy At The Grocery Store To Eat Like A Person

By Eric Silver

Man, weren’t meal plans great? All this food premade, all you can eat (or smuggle out of the dining hall with tupperwear and an intricate escape plan). Well, welcome to postgrad, where no one makes you food unless they’re your mom or you’re married. It’s on you to pick up supplies at the grocery store, and yes that place is so, so intimidating. “I DON’T NEED SO MANY AISLES! WHY IS THERE ONE ONLY FOOD CEREALS AND DOG FOOD?!” you wail. I don’t know, but we can get through this together. Here is a starter grocery list so you don’t end up passed out on your bathroom floor from scurvy and malnutrition:

Stretch Your Budget With Cheap Ingredients and Sprices – A pound of rice is one dollar. Salt, pepper, oregano, and Mrs. Dash total four dollars. For one Abe Lincoln, you got a delicious side dish for four days. Also, if anyone tries it, you can say Mrs. Dash is your secret ingredient. Yeah, the men/ladies love a coy cook.

You Know How To Make One Thing, So Buy Those Ingredients. Everyone knows how to make ONE multistep dish at this point. So set yourself up for success and actually get those groceries.

Fruits and Veggies Are Your Friends – as an adult, no one can tell you what to do. So, in theory, you are legally allowed to have Cheeze-Its and whiskey for every meal. Please see the previous sentence about scurvy. Buy some green things and some red things and some other colored things! Also, you’re in charge, so it’s not lima beans and brussell sprouts even though you told your mom you don’t like those things but she makes them anyway. It’s all broccoli everything from now on.

Make It Easy On Yourself – Canned soup requires one step to make. Frozen burritos too. Sandwiches? Only a bunch of little steps stacked on top of each other… like a sandwich. At this point in your life, you’re not going to be Bobby Flay. And that’s fine! Just eat the food and get on with your life.

Buy Eggs, Chicken, and Pasta – Get your life together. Learn to cook these.

Ignore Nutritional Value Once – This isn’t a World War One bunker, and you’re not collecting ration supplies. So ignoring the sustenance intake is your right as a grocery shopper. Get the pickles. Get the string cheese. Get the chocolate peanut butter cups. Treat yo self.

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