What To Give

By Lev Novak

You should probably give more stuff.

Not all your stuff. But not none of your stuff, either. And not just stuff. Some of it is metaphorical stuff. Still with me? Did you know must writers never use the word “stuff?” Now you know. Read more, and you’ll learn more stuff too.

1. Old Clothes

Give away your old clothes. This is super easy and super smart. If you’re not going to wear something, get rid of it. Old clothes take up room in your closet, your life, and you can resign yourself to wearing your “Party Spongebob” shirt way after it’s no longer ironic.

If you want advice on new clothes, ask someone who cares. Chances are they’ll be happy to tell you what you’re missing, and, more importantly, what clothes of yours are awful (on you) and should be given away (to someone on whom they’ll look less awful.)

Plus: it’s a good thing to do. Woo!

2. Coins and Singles

Other than quarters, which are permanently useful, coins should never grace your house. Leave them in tip jars. It’s not much, but coins clutter up your house and announce “I never tip!” to passerby.

Single dollar bills, too, should be tipped and given away perpetually. That’s because giving a dollar sometimes isn’t just a financial transaction; it’s something more human. It’s you not pretending the homeless person doesn’t exist, and it’s not you acting like that street musician is actually super good. Give them a dollar. You won’t notice it’s gone, but they’ll notice you gave it.

3. Time.

Psych!

Don’t give away your time. Don’t do stupid things that are bad. You can use that time for so many other things; sleep, writing, homework, friends, hanging, cooking, eating…whatever.

Time is there for you to spend it. Don’t just give it willy nilly.

4. Attention

Pay attention, though. The more you give in that regard, the more you get. Keep your ear to the ground, socially and abroad. Try to learn what’s going around your city and your community. Heck, use Yelp! if you have to.

Pay attention and you’ll get paid back in knowledge. And we all know that knowledge is power.

5. Advice

Psych! Again!

Don’t give advice until you’re asked for it, or unless you’re really sure it’ll help. Otherwise, just give your support. Because when you give advice, it’s generally you just talking about yourself.

Watch this sample dialogue, where a guy gives “advice.”

***

Jeff: Sasha and I broke up. I’m sad.

You: Well, I have some great advice- I don’t know your situation, nor do I really care, but this is a chance to talk about my break up instead of listening. When I broke up with Annie, I ate tons and tons of peanut butter and that helped.

Jeff: I’m allergic to peanut butter.

You: My advice is good because it worked for me, so you have to take it.

***

See? You’re a jerk. Don’t give advice then. Give support, help, a video-game partner, and a friend to eat hamburgers with. That’s all you ever need, and, when it happens to you, that’s what you’ll receive, instead of Jeff giving you advice about how you have to move to Chile, right now man.

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