Your St.Patricks Day

By Lev Novak

So, it’s St.Patrick’s Day today which means a couple of things. One: your neon-green Red Sox hat was a good investment for some reason, and two: you may be drinking.

You don’t have to drink, obviously, but I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t happen on St.Patrick’s day. If you’re going somewhere for St.Patrick’s day, you’re going to have to remember a few things.

1. Wear Green

This is not the time to wear your nice khaki’s and shirt. I don’t care if you look good. I don’t care if your green shirt is a t-shirt and it doesn’t match your pants. This is a holiday which has very little to do with your pride and a lot more to do with being happy and silly in the afternoon.

If you’re starting the day by thinking about how you look, you’re not in the spirit of the holiday.

2. Drink Water

Drink a glass of water right now. Take a bottle of water with you.

There will be no circumstance where you’ll be unhappy you drank so much water. Okay, maybe if you’re looking for a bathroom, but that’s going to be true regardless of what you’ve been drinking. If you’ve already committed to fluids, water is a very smart choice. It will prevent a hangover, especially if you’re out in the sun while drinking. The sun takes additional water out of you that’s easy to forget, since most drinking occurs at night.

Respect the alcohol, the sun, and the situation. Drink water.

3. Remember You Will Nap

You’re going to be napping.

If you’re waking up early to drink, two things are going to happen. Your body is going to be running on low sleep and heavy alcohol, and there’s only so long the momentum of the day is going to take you. Caffeine only postpones the inevitable, and you’re going to want a nap. Bad.

Understand and accept this as inevitable. Are you near your house? A friend with a pre-reserved couch? Set yourself up for some sleep success and understand that’s going to be the best decision you made today. In fact, given that it’s St.Patrick’s Day, it might be the only good decision you made.

4. Have Fun

Notice I didn’t say “get so drunk you throw up green.” Because drinking can be fun, and even a little bit of excess is fine in moderation (see what I did there?) but competing against yourself or drinking because you think you have to is really nothing more than an act of self-hazing.

Have fun. Seriously. It’s fun! But don’t go so far out of your way that you’re drinking out of an obligation, or heading to a parade you don’t want to go to. There are many types of fun today, and Netflix is one. So is playing chess, or going to the gym. So, of course, is drinking with friends, but don’t feel like any of these are superior; do what you like, do it safely and happily, and be sure you enjoy it.

Have a safe and fun St.Patrick’s, y’all.

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